Let me take a moment to be transparent…
When I was in my early twenties, my priorities were to get a nice job so I can have a good paycheck and get a boyfriend so I could be in love. The job manifested into a 20-year subtle but satisfying career in dentistry. However, it’s the boyfriends that came and went and each time, I was afflicted with a broken heart and a weak spirit. Of course, I was oblivious to the emotional pain I was suffering from, because I always felt like I could “bounce back”. I didn’t realize that I needed time to properly heal between these so-called boyfriends who promised me longevity after giving them all of me. I was naive and looking for love in all of the wrong places. I didn’t listen to the universe telling me that I AM LOVE.
Fast forward some years later, three beautiful children (two earthly angels and one heavenly angel) were produced out of a nine-year relationship that turned sour. After that experience, I continued to struggle with sexual trauma…unbeknownst to myself. Sexual trauma ranges from promiscuity/sexual addiction, which is an emotionally-triggered behavior to sexual assault which is controlling and violent behavior. In my case, I suffered from what I called manipulative sexual behavior and that was emotionally-triggered. I gave my body in return for the emotional support and the love I desperately yearned for from emotionally unavailable men. After these men left my life, I became hurt, depressed, and deeply confused about why I was experiencing the same dating pattern.
I began to take one long look at myself and asked the universe what I was doing wrong. It dawned on me that I was emotionally manipulating these so-called boyfriends just so I could have the comfort and validity I needed in a relationship. I began to ask the universe to guide me in a better direction. I wanted to get to a place of spiritual freedom and no longer become dependent on the validation a man has of me to make me feel WHOLE. That’s when I turned to methods for spiritual ascension. One of the key ingredients to spiritual ascension is sexual healing.
Sexual healing is a huge component of spiritual ascension. One must learn to forgive themselves, as well as others, regarding all types of sexual trauma. Believe it or not, forgiveness is the first step to healing and we cannot be our highest selves if we cannot forgive.
Now that I’m in my 40s, I have totally forgiven myself and those emotionally unavailable men that have taught me how I should be loved…starting with love of self.
With guidance from the universe and manifested wisdom, I am no longer in that place of yearning and suffering from emotional pain. I am genuinely loved because I attracted love from how I love myself. I learned how by discovering the power of my chakras and how to balance them.
I share my transparency to show you how you can heal from sexual trauma, using the power of your chakras. Before we dig deeper, if you’re new to the term, “chakras”, please go here to get a better understanding of what they are.
Root Chakra/Muladhara – This chakra is linked to our ability to feel grounded, safe, secure in our bodies, and connected to people around us. This chakra is also linked to our genitalia, so it’s directly impacted by sexual trauma and abuse when compromised. Many survivors develop patterns of disassociation or disconnection from their physical bodies.
- Tell yourself these affirmations daily: “I am centered and grounded”. “I am at peace with the people and events that occur in my life.”
- Connect with nature. Heading to the park, the beach, a trail, or a forest will give you all kinds of good energy and inspiration. the sights, sounds, and smells of trees, grass, flowers, water, etc. will have you feeling more connected to the earth.
- Eating red-colored foods such as apples, pomegranates, strawberries, and raspberries will help heal the root chakra.
- Keep a Red Jasper crystal with you.
Sacral Chakra/ Syadisthana – Disassociation often also manifests in the subtle body as a tendency to disconnect from the second chakra, which is linked to our emotions, creativity, sensuality, sexuality and fluidity/adaptability. This often means we have problems feeling our emotions, but ironically this doesn’t mean we don’t feel the emotions of others. Shame and self-blame are also often held in this chakra, blocking our ability to let go.
- Dance…even if you’re not good at it
- Tell yourself these affirmations daily: ” Pleasure is sacred to me.”I am a creative being.”
- Keep a Carnelian crystal with you
- Eating orange-colored foods such as oranges (obviously), mango, papaya, and cantaloupe will help heal your sacral chakra.
- Tone up your abs and lower body with a yoga or Pilates practice (or any physical activity of your choosing). When negative energy gets blocked within the body, it starts storing in the mid-section.
- Let go of bad memories that cause negative emotions.
Solar Plexus Chakra/Manipura –Our Solar Plexus is linked to our personal power, boundaries, sense of identity, and ability to act effectively in the world, so it makes sense that some of us have difficulty getting by in the world while dealing with cycles of abuse and/or addiction. On the flip side, we often develop exceptional intellectual and organization skills and attempt to power through life in order to never be vulnerable again which is a defense mechanism from facing our truth about the sexual trauma we suffer from.
- Take yourself on a date! Get nice and pretty for a night out and treat yourself to a fancy restaurant, a movie, for a trip to the museum. By not waiting for others to take the initiative, you become empowered by treating yourself with what you’re worthy of. You deserve some fun.
- Keep a Citrine or Tiger’s Eye crystal with you
- Eating bananas, yellow squash, oats, yellow pears, lemons, and other yellow foods can help heal your solar plexus chakra.
- Tell yourself this affirmation daily: ” I love and accept myself just as I am.”
Heart Chakra/Anahata – The heart chakra is most directly engaged in our relationships with others, and so this is where heart chakra damage from abuse and assault usually manifests itself. There are a lot of different variations, including co-dependent relationships that deflect feelings of unworthiness, difficulty trusting or being vulnerable, or a disconnection from any sense of a spiritual support system.
- Release the fear that you’ll never be loved. It’s not always about how others feel about you. It’s how you feel about yourself that matters most. Trust when I say, when you are oozing with pure self-love, you’ll attract a twin flame who will love you just the same, if not more!
- Say this affirmation daily: “I am worthy of love.”
- keep a Rose Quartz and an aventurine crystal with you.
- Eating green foods such as kale, limes, green bell peppers, spinach and green apples can help heal your heart chakra.
Throat Chakra/Vishuddha – The throat chakra is linked to our ability to communicate clearly, to speak our truth, and feel our authentic self. This prevents any real communication – any true expression of their inner lives through outer means, which is really what the throat chakra is about.
- Singing your favorite song is an awesome throat chakra healing technique. You better get to SANGIN’ like you’re Whitney OR Luther!
- Listen to binaural beats (a form of music healing therapy) which helps to activate and clear ALL the chakras through alternating sound waves.
- If you are struggling with verbalizing your thoughts and feelings, try to record them in a private journal or better yet…START A BLOG!
- Keep a Lapis Lazuli with you.
- As counterintuitive as it may seem to spend time in silence, it can actually help you tune into your subtle inner voice. By allowing your inner voice to emerge, you will strengthen your throat chakra.
- Eating blueberries, blackberries, and all fruits that grow on trees helps heal your throat chakra.
Third Eye Chakra/Ajna Crown Chakra/Sahasrara
Both the Third Eye and The Crown Chakras are not directly impacted by sexual trauma, but they can become linked to disassociative patterns if one seeks to escape into dream worlds, fantasies, or imaginations in such a way that it becomes dysfunctional.
Meditate (As for all of your chakras)
Keep an Amethyst and Clear Quartz with you.
All purple foods such as eggplants and purple cabbage help heal your third eye and crown chakras.
Say these affirmations daily: ” I am wise.” I am aware.” “I trust & follow my intuition”
Reference: Mommy Mystic