There’s this inevitable pressure some of us may experience come February 1st. Either we’re in a relationship trying to out-do last year’s gift or we’re single and the day serves as a reminder of our loneliness. Whichever the case, this is one holiday many don’t anticipate.
Let’s be honest…a lot of us forget that “love” can be celebrated every day and in many ways and it doesn’t require gifts, but for those who are true fans of Valentine’s Day, it’s the one day some of us will go ALL OUT to express one’s love and I get it! It’s a romantic feeling that rushes over us when we get to dress up, feel beautiful, paint the town red, go on romantic getaways, and most importantly to many… exchange gifts. For some of us, we don’t often get to experience feeling like a princess or prince, so Valentine’s Day is a big deal.
The problem with this is that some may equate love with how extravagant the gift is.
Let’s just start with how “Valentine’s Day” became a holiday.
There’s a few myths on how Vday came about, but upon research it’s documented that in the third century, a Roman priest whose last name was Valentine, was imprisoned for performing secret weddings against the wishes of the Catholic Church. Church authorities sentenced him to death for his actions. Before he was put to death, he sent a note to his woman and it was signed, “Your Valentine”.
The historical evidence is sketchy, but somehow Valentine’s Day has evolved into the “Day of Love” on February 14th…a day that holds significance associated with historical documents.
Anyway…as the holiday evolves, it became less about love and more about what we can get out of that day…in my humble opinion. I think Vday has become over-romanticized with materialistic expectations which brings pressure to those who tries to measure up or outdo themselves from the previous Valentine’s Day. It could create a level of unnecessary stress and anxiety, to say the least.
Then there are those of us who do not have a significant other.
It could be a difficult time for obvious reasons, especially in this digital age where single folks try not to compare their lives to those “happy couples” they see on social media. It causes many to feel a deep loss, maybe even unlovable. Some even experience moments of depression. Some people turn to self-medicating or drugs and alcohol to numb the emotional pain. The pressure for a single person who wants to be in love to stay positive on Valentine’s Day can be challenging for many. However, it can be done.
Beat the Valentine’s Day Blues (for the single folks)
Allow yourself to feel how you feel– It’s okay to be sad, mad, disappointed, or even lost. What matters is that you give yourself time to go through the motions until you feel like YOU again.
Treat yourself!– People forget that if they love themselves, they should treat themselves like such. Why not buy yourself a Valentine’s Day gift? Don’t wait for someone else to make Vday special for you. If you want to treat yourself to something, that’s okay.
Shift Your Focus– Remember that Valentine’s Day isn’t JUST about love in romantic partnerships. Focus on the love you have for family and friends.
Log off for the day– Social media can be a breeding ground for couples showing off their lovey dovey stuff on February 14th. If you feel like you’re gonna fall into moments of depression as a result, stay off line.
Beat the Valentine’s Day Blues! (for the coupled up)
Less is More!- Remember…you don’t have to break the pockets to impress your sig other and if he/she expects you to, then there may be a bigger issue here. I’ve always believed that Valentine’s Day ideas that are creative and takes the pressure off to be extravagant are more appealing. A nice dinner cooked by you or a private chef, is the perfect example. If going ALL OUT is something you don’t have a problem with, do you boo! Some folks are financially capable. But to those who are sacrificing their coins for someone they can show love to everyday of the week in many ways…I’d consider the options here.
“LOVE” is subjective and can be expressed any day of the year in a variety of ways.
Some of us may not have a significant other, but that doesn’t define who we are, or in some cases, what we feel we aren’t. For those who are coupled up, stay blessed in your union.
We are love.
We are loved….regardless.